Tuesday, 16 October 2018

Quiet time = "dry docking" my soul?

Dear Diary,

In my last blog posts I wrote about my recent trip to Switzerland where I learnt that I must not compare, that God will help me shrink my fears and that I can change, one feather at the time. But there was one more thought that I wanted to share with you and the photo to go with it is right here...

It's a beautiful scenery, isn't it? It was indeed a very peaceful day on Lake Zürich, just after I saw that beautiful swan and clearly, there were no storms in sight. But I know it doesn't always look like this and some of these boats do experience rough weather occasionally. Looking out on the lake, I thought about boats needing regular maintenance and if there was a leak, a boat would surely sink.

These days, life has become undeniably busy and there seem to be far too many "storms" or troubles in this world. In the stormy waters of our busy days, my mind or mood seems to have a tendency to "sink" a little more each day, unless I do something about it. So, perhaps it stands to reason that our minds, especially if they start feeling like they are "leaking" might need some regular maintenance just like these boats. Having a boat on dry dock for regular maintenance prevents it from sinking and that's exactly what "quiet time" does for me! Yes, life can get pretty rough sometimes and "storms" are inevitable, but having a quiet time is like having my mind on "dry dock" where I can get some much needed downtime and do some repairs! Just a few minutes of quiet time daily seem to keep me afloat these days. 

So there you go...looking at Lake Zürich, I took my last learning for this holiday: Boats need regular maintenance and I believe so do we! A few minutes of quiet time in the morning can prevent us from sinking during the day. What do you think? You are most welcome to leave me a comment below. From my side of the ocean, I wish you many happy quiet times and...

...SMOOTH SAILING this week!

"I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and
assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to
experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." 
John 16:33 (MSG)

(Photo is my own.)

Monday, 1 October 2018

CHANGE happens one feather at the time...

Dear Diary

My blog site is called "Diary of a non-perfect mom", for good reason, because I have never been a perfect mom. Not even nearly! But with God's help I am finally getting better at it. He has a way of changing us if we take some time to spend with Him and I am so grateful for that now. "Quiet times" have brought about a lot of good changes in my life. So I would love to encourage other mom's not to give up either. Those sleepless nights will be over some day and the workload does tend to get less as our kids grow up. I suppose we will always worry about them, but I have noticed that the "stress" of raising kids does get less as they get older. What seems to be hugely important though, is how we react towards our children when we are under stress and I haven't always been good at that.

But like I said, I have been and am still busy changing with the help of more frequent quiet times now and during a recent trip to Europe, I felt that God was nudging me about a few things. Jealousy and fears, for example, as per my last two blog posts, but one day, while taking a stroll along Lake Zürich on a beautiful late summer day, I felt as if He was saying, "be patient with yourself". It happened when I saw this beautiful swan with a feather in his mouth and for some reason, to me, it just looked as if he had just plucked his last grey feather and I had to smile while I quickly took this photo:

You see, I have a way of being rather harsh on myself and change preferably happens instantly. So, if I decide that I would like to be a better mom, I would love to become that better mom today, yes please! But looking at that beautiful swan, I knew what God was saying to me - change happens one feather at the time! Change happens gradually and I need to learn to be patient with myself. I have definitely been an ugly duckling mother once, but with God's help, I've been plucking one feather at the time and given enough time, you never know...I might just turn into a swan! 😉

So that was my little moment no. 3 during this holiday and I hope you like it. Perhaps it was just a very personal moment, but I hope that it might have meaning to other moms also. By the way,   when I got back home, I discovered that I had actually a downloaded copy of the "Ugly Duckling" story on my iPad...coincidence? Who knows! But what I do know is that during this holiday, I have been reminded that I must not compare, that God will help me shrink my fears and that I can change...one feather at the time! And that's not the end yet, but for now...

...I wish you a VERY HAPPY week!

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but 
let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you
think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is 
good and pleasing and perfect."
Romans 12:2 (NLT)

(Photo is my own.)

Sunday, 30 September 2018

Do NOT fear!

Dear Diary

My little teddy = little fears
After my pondering over the pigeon and the airplane (see my last post) I carried on travelling through Doha airport in the Middle East. Now you must know first, that I have this cute little yellow teddy at home which is only about 25 cm tall, but when I travelled through Doha airport I encountered a massive big version of it! It actually almost filled the entire hall at the centre of the airport and you can barely make out my head at the front of its feet. I took a selfie with it (ok, it's more teddy than me 😉) and pondered about it on the next flight. Thinking about that massive big teddy, I realized that sometimes childhood fears can become completely oversized in one's mind, even if we are all grown up and adults by now!

Big Doha teddy = big fears
Fears or even people, especially if they held any kind of authority over us, can take up larger than life proportions in our minds. I have definitely logged some fears around from my childhood that never ought to have grown to the size that they did. The questions is - how do I bring them back from this scary dimension to the size of my little cute teddy? It has been my experience that I can't, but God can, every time I have a quiet time! In the stillness of these moments alone with God, my fears usually tend to shrink. Quite quickly. Anxieties have a way of creeping in, but quiet times have proven to be a great remedy! 

So, travelling through Doha in Qatar, I added pondering no. 2 to my list...do not allow Satan to blow up your fears! But when they are on the increase...have a quiet time, as soon as possible, and see them shrink! I hope you like my pictures and I would love to hear what you think about them in the comments below.

I wish you a VERY HAPPY week!

"The LORD is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? 
The LORD is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1 (NIV) 

(All photos are my own.)

Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Do NOT compare!

Dear Diary,

When I recently traveled to Europe and back I noticed some things, I call them "ponderings"...just little things, but they were very helpful to me! I would like to capture them here over the next few weeks. The first thing I noticed was a rather small pigeon compared to a rather large airplane right in front of it.

(Photo is my own.)
Sitting at the airport, waiting for my plane to start boarding, I spotted this pigeon perched on a ledge just outside my window. I can't say for sure that she (or he) was looking at the airplane, but for a moment I imagined...what if she was? Would she have any jealousy issues like I seem to have sometimes? After all that big orange bird would fly so much higher and further today than the pigeon could ever hope to.

That day, that moment, watching the pigeon, something "clicked" inside of me and I laughed. Because it felt as if God was whispering to me, saying "If you keep looking at others, you will miss your own purpose!" Wow! That was really true for me! I have often felt like a "nobody" in  comparison to "spiritual giants" and I suppose I have allowed jealousy to creep into my heart every now and then. But I do realize now that every time I did allow myself to feel like that, I have, in essence, failed to recognize my own purpose. 

So, sitting at an airport, waiting to board, I have finally learnt to stop comparing myself because every time I do, I fall short of my own purpose! I am unique and so are you and...

...I DO wish you a HAPPY WEEK!

"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, 
and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. 
Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility 
for doing the creative best you can with your own life."
Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)  [Emphasis added]

Wednesday, 22 August 2018

Why Quiet Time?

Dear Diary

I haven't had much chance to write lately, but I have been pondering...

One thing that is always on my mind is - QUIET TIME. Time to sit still and LISTEN to God. In this incredibly busy world, the question easily arises: Why should I do it? Or how can I possibly make enough time for it? And how do I do it? It's so easy to drop the quiet moments or "quiet times" from our lives when busyness is starting to overwhelm us...but we mustn't! Because in the calm of a quiet moment is where we find all the answers!

The other day I came across a most beautiful Scripture, triggering much thought in my mind and giving me yet another good reason for having a daily quiet time with God. Psalm 103:3 speaks about the Lord who "forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases" and I am quite certain it doesn't only mean the physical ones! Apparently, the word "heals" in this particular Scripture is also defined as "to mend by stitching" and that's when something clicked in my mind. I suddenly realized that, like a seamstress, God cannot stitch together what He does not hold in His hand. What do I mean by that? Picture a torn rag, like the one in this picture, that is in dire need of repair. What if this piece of material was held in front of me and every time I wanted to grab it, it would be jerked away from me, before I could work on it and mend it? I simply wouldn't be able to mend it. It simply wouldn't work! If this piece of material is not being laid into my lap, I cannot begin to repair it. And isn't it like that with God and us?  

We need to make time to sit still before God. Yes, I suppose we can talk to God on the run, but I really don't think that He will be able to do much mending then and if you are in dire need of healing like I was, then I definitely recommend a regular quiet time! When I read that Psalm, I realized that it is vitally important to give God enough time to stitch me back together with His LOVE and His WORD and I have experienced that He will do so much more! He can turn a torn and worn out rag into a beautiful piece of material like this one! But in order to start the transformation process, we really need to sit still and have a little quiet time, even if it is only a very short one at first.

I can truly testify that this has worked for me! Trust me, there was a lot of stitching or mending to do in my mind and God is still busy with it, but He is faithful and I can see so many improvements already. I am not after perfection anymore, God is the only one who can achieve perfection, but I realize now that I don't need to be perfect, all I have to do is...sit still once in a while and let Him work on me. Sitting still can be a challenge at first, but it isn't impossible and I can assure you - it will be worth it! 


"He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
He redeems me from death
and crowns me with love and tender mercies."
Psalm 103:3-4 (NLT)

 (P.s. If you want to leave a comment below, but don't have a Google account...just type it into 
the box below and then from the drop boxes choose "anonymous" and publish it. Easy as pie!)

(All photos courtesy of morguefile.com)

Wednesday, 15 August 2018


Dear Diary

"Long time no hear" you might rightfully say...unless you have been hearing me on KFM or Radio Kingfisher on 107.5FM! 😉

I have been busy, just trying to be a better mom and that reminded me of a "mission statement" I published long ago. I have edited it and posted it on my blog as a "page" now and you can find it here:

I do hope you like it and that it is helpful in any way! I wish every mom out there an incredibly BLESSED DAY!


(P.s. If you want to leave a comment below, but don't have a Google account...just type it into the box below and then from the drop boxes choose "anonymous" and publish it. Easy as pie!)

Wednesday, 28 March 2018

Did you know that Easter is Jesus' OPEN DAY...?

Dear Diary,

It's time for a re-post! About 5 years ago, I wrote a post about Easter being Jesus' "Open Day" and I believe this thought is as relevant today as it was then! I hope you agree with me and my readers will enjoy it. So here it is...

Last year, around this time of the year, I had the privilege to attend the Pearson High School "Open Day" - a time of introduction to all prospective new parents and students. Coming from Europe and an entirely different educational system, this was all so new to me. But even some of my South African friends said that, coming from Primary School, it seemed like a whole new world to them. An entirely "new ball game" so to say. So much more to do for our children; so much more to aspire to and so many new people to meet for both parents and kids. Quite overwhelming at first, but also exciting. On this open day, the admission rules were explained to us, because this new school, this new world is reserved for some. Yes, anyone can apply, but only 160 students will get in. That’s the reality, these are the admission limits set by the headmaster or the governing body of the school. However, somewhere among the application forms, there was a piece of paper that stated a very important part of the admission rules - that admission is guaranteed if you live in the vicinity of the school. It said that if Pearson High is your nearest High School and if you are a rightful resident here, then you will not be refused entry. What a relief to know! Especially in the presence of the other 500 people who might all be applying later. Why am I telling you all this…?

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com
Easter is coming up and I have been pondering over this thought for a while. I believe Easter is Jesus' OPEN DAY! He came; He made His presentation. Heaven is His world, a world we know little about, but the bible promises that it will be far beyond our imagination! In a broad way, you could say it is almost like the change over from primary school to high school and God wants all of us to be there one day. Anyone can apply. However, not everyone will be granted entry. But I have some really GOOD NEWS! Jesus created a similar and very important admission rule - if He is your friend and you therefore “live in the vicinity” of the cross he died on per say, admission for you is also GUARANTEED! Isn't that awesome? I was so relieved when I finally understood this on that open day! Yes, you may fail a grade or two in primary school or here on earth, you might even mess up on your very next exam, but if you believe in Jesus and you keep him in your heart, your grades don’t matter. You will get in.

This vicinity thing is really important because we can easily get worried. Many people worry about whether they will go to heaven one day or not. Just like many parents have asked me since that Open Day: “What if you don’t get in?” They wanted to know if I would apply to any other high school and my answer has always been NO. None. This is the only one I will apply for. It definitely seems to be the best one for us and the good news is, we live nearby. Some parents still seem to worry, even though they live near the school. Perhaps they did not read the small print and now they are vulnerable to Satan's lies. He loves to sneak in a thought of worry or two: “Are you sure your child will be accepted?” or “What if his/her grades don’t measure up?”. But I don't listen to his nonsense anymore! I read the small print, so I know the truth and that is that my child's acceptance is guaranteed. 

I admit, however, that I, myself, have had lots of thoughts that I might not be good enough for heaven and there were many times where I have sinned and Satan himself tried to convince me that I would not make “the cut” anymore. But that is when I now go and read the "small print" of God’s promise again, which in the bible is not actually small print at all. It says, quite clearly, that if you are a friend of Jesus and you make him your Lord, you will get into heaven. Your behavior is not the deciding factor, but your closeness to Jesus is. So the only question for each one of us, over this Easter, is this: is He my friend and do I therefore live "near the cross" per say? If not, why not make him your friend this coming Easter and make sure your admission is guaranteed? Jesus was here! He had His “Open Day” when he hung on the cross and He is reminding us every Easter now, that he has enough space for us all. There is no admission limit with him in terms of numbers, all we have to do is believe. There is, however, a deadline for enrolling and we need to enroll now before he comes back.

I think even Satan knows that his time is almost up and Jesus will come back. Almost every new action movie released these days is advertising some kind of “impending return”. People are sensing it and Satan is trying to promote his own team. He will do anything to keep you distracted and busy and away from Jesus! But Easter is Jesus’ Open Day! Time just for me and him! Have you put your application in yet? If not…why don’t you pray to Him today?! I wish you a very...

Picture is my own.

Thursday, 22 February 2018

Just a quick hello...while I'm still busy with radio...

Don't you love C.S. Lewis? 😃 Words that I know from experience to be so true! 😉 Thank you God for all the good role models in my life! 🙏🏻 Wishing you all a very BLESSED day!! ❤️

Monday, 1 January 2018

My healing journey is now on Radio Kingfisher 107.5FM

Hi Diary,

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and my readers!!

Lifestyle with Lize 107.5FM
At the beginning of December, Lize-Mari and I discussed on Radio Kingfisher how real the "Hunger Games" became for me a few years ago. Only too real! (You can also read the story in my last post.) But, by the grace of God, I got out of them victoriously and I believe so can anyone else! Over the next couple of months, we will be talking about some practical tips on how to avoid burnout altogether, so you never even have to enter the games. So listen in this year!

Some of the core lessons I learnt on my healing journey came out of a book written by David L. Cook titled "Seven Days in UTOPIA, Golf's Sacred Journey". It took me more than seven days to complete my healing journey, but for me, it was indeed somewhat of a sacred journey and I will be sharing my best learnings on Lize's Lifestyle show on Radio Kingfisher 107.5FM.

For ease of reference and in case you would like to read any of my blog posts that I have written about it for more details, I will list them right here for you. I called them "The Journey to the Center of Me..." and there were 7 parts of this journey:

I hope you will find them helpful on your journey and don't forget to join us every first Wednesday of the month at 10h30 (GMT+2) on Kingfisher FM 107.5 or 103.8!


Click here if you want to listen live!

Monday, 27 November 2017

Mockingjay...here's MY way out of the "Hunger Games"

Hi Diary

Today I need to speak to all the moms out there who are in danger of burnout. Because burnout can throw you into a game you don't want to be in. A game few survive if they play. It's called the Hunger Games and it's not just a scary movie, for some of us it's a reality!

I have been in the games and the Mockingjay has become my emblem of hope in a struggle that I was lucky or perhaps I should rather say blessed enough to survive. Cancer. A Mockingjay, as seen in this picture, is a fictional bird and the emblem of the sci-fi trilogy called the "Hunger Games". If you are a teen mom, like me, you might have seen any of the movies "Hunger Games", "Catching Fire" or Mockingjay". Great movies! Some of my thoughts about them, which I am about to share, might seem a bit of a stretch to you at first, but stay with me till the end of this post and then feel free to let me know what you think! Those who follow my blog, might know that I like being inspired by movies and I often take life lessons from them. These three movies were particularly meaningful to me. They taught me survival skills during the toughest years of my life!
All four movies of the "Hunger Games" trilogy ("Mockingjay" was split into Part 1 and Part 2) are based on science fiction novels written by American author Suzanne Collins. "Mockingjay", the last novel of three, continues the story of Katniss Everdeen, the heroine, who agrees to lead the rebels of Panem in their rebellion against the seemingly tyrannical president of the Capitol, their wealthiest city. Reluctantly, she becomes their Mockingjay, a symbol of resistance, resiliency and hope.

At first, I was somewhat opposed to these movies, as I was not sure if they might not be a bit too violent for my teens. But then I discovered that although the first movie is rather violent, the second is already much more moderate and I also found that I have a lot in common with Katniss Everdeen, the female main character in the story. There’s a distinct commonality between her childhood deprivation and mine, especially her lack of a father and good role model. 

Katniss is selected, by lottery, to compete in a televised battle for survival inside a sophisticated and controlled arena. She succeeds and survives, but only somewhat victoriously. Bruised and battered from the battle, she hides in an outlying district, where she takes time to think things over and gradually becomes part of the rebellion against the dictatorial government and the organizers of these ghastly games. In a twist, almost at the end of the story, she finally realizes who here real enemy is and by the end of the novel - spoiler alert! - she breaks free from all the evil games people were playing with her and lives "happily ever after" with her husband and two children. Happily ever after is in inverted commas as she still has a lot of grim memories to deal with and many bad thought patterns to overcome.

I know what she is going through. I really do. Almost eight years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I went into a similarly sophisticated and controlled "arena of chemotherapy" and engaged in a battle that not everyone survives. Back then, it also felt as if I had been selected by some kind of "lottery" as none in my family had every been entered into this kind of "game" or battle and, under the scrutiny of the whole community around me, my own battle certainly felt a little "televised". But I survived, like Katniss and just like her, I was given some kind of a "victory tour". It's a long story and it does have a happy end. However, I went on my victory tour with the same reluctance as she did. Like her, I was and am still not able to enjoy my victory, in light of all the devastation I have seen being done to others in that arena or in my case, the chemotherapy ward. When I was finally released from my arena, I also decided to lay low and to think about things. I too needed to know who my real enemy was. My reading chair at home was my favorite place to sit and think and from that vantage point, having survived the massive onslaught on my life, I can tell you one thing already - excessive "busyness" is a real enemy for sure! Years ago, when I was a mom with little children, I got really busy and I didn't realize that every time I thought I didn't have enough time for a little quiet time, not even a quick moment of rest, I was taking one step further in the direction of burnout and I had to learn the hard way that burnout can enter us into a game we don't want to play.

In District 13, the outlying district in the novel "Mockingjay", however, life is very simple. Stress is kept to a minimum wherever possible. Two meals a day, two sets of clothing, one bed to sleep on, everything is structured and spartanic. I almost envy them for the simplicity of their life. There, Katniss often separates herself from the others. She hides behind a warm pipe in the laundry room, inside a supply cupboard or, if she can, out in the woods. She clearly needs a place to be alone as often as she can.

And that's another thing I can relate to! I try to keep things more simple now and in the last three years I have often found myself hiding in a bathroom if necessary, just to steal a little moment alone with God. I believe without her quiet moments Katniss couldn't have made it through her battles and I know I wouldn't have made it through mine! The way out of my personal Hunger Games was to start having quiet times!

I am back in District 12 now and well into my healing story, fully aware that as I exited the "games" others have entered, but I also know that with the right mentor, you can survive! You can reduce stress and you can avoid burnout and it's never too late! But you might need to make some hard choices in order to do so and you might want to get a good mentor right from the start. I found that Jesus was and is the best mentor by far! Whatever your struggle, whatever your game, I know that if you ask him to, he will show you a way out and he'll give you a new hope and a new future!

I have survived and like Katniss Everdeen, I still have a lot of grim memories and bad thought patterns to overcome in the future, but I know that my "happily ever after" is just around the corner now! Like Katniss, I am a mom of two children and my life must go on and like her, I play a new game now. 

At the end of the last movie Katniss says that every time she feels distressed, she plays a new, comforting and repetitive game: reminding herself of every good thing that she has ever seen someone do and she adds that "there are much worse games to play."

I agree! We seem to be living in an excessively busy world now and there are much worse games to play than having a little moment of thankful thinking, especially in the pre-Christmas season! This is the time of the year where our lives can become very stressful and "loud" and it seems to be getting worse each year. So many preparations, so many worries and often it's just trivial things we are getting stressed out about. So, right now, it might become even more important for every busy mom, to allow herself a tiny little break! A little moment of thankful thinking. These little moments of quietness, just a cup of tea and a cookie perhaps, can relieve stress in a most pleasant way and prevent a burnout. That's my Christmas wish for You. Prevent burnout. Have fun and play. Yes, let's play...but let's play a game of gratitude and joy!

I wish you a very PEACEFUL and  MERRY  CHRISTMAS  SEASON !!

(Please leave me a comment below if you can relate to what I have shared here. I would love to hear from you.)
(All photos are my own.)

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

Last day @ High School...my very own "Groundhog Day" victory!

Hi Diary,

Five years ago (I can't believe it's already been this long!) I wrote an article on what "Day 1 @ High School" felt like for a mom. The link is here...

It's been five years and in a couple of weeks it will already be his last day of school! Back then I struggled to let him go and I must admit, I sometimes still do. But I have learnt a thing or two. 

Walking a child through high school is not only about learning and growing for him or her; it's for the parents also! In these last five years, I have dropped him and picked him up from school about 2500 times and frequently waiting for him in the parking lot has gradually taught me some much needed lessons. You don't understand? Perhaps this will help.

Great movie - watch it!
Many years prior to him starting high school, I have watched an American movie called Groundhog Day - a comedy starring Bill Murray as "Phil", a weatherman, who is out to cover the annual emergence of the groundhog from its hole. Phil gets caught in a storm that he didn't predict and finds himself trapped in a time warp in which he is doomed to relive the same day over and over again, until he gets it right. But in order to "get it right" he has to re-examine his life and priorities. Critics say that Bill Murray "shines in this good-natured comedy that delivers lots of laughs and some honest sentiment".

Yes, that just about sums up my past five years! Because for the past five years, it seems that I have "covered" the daily emergence of my son from his room in order for me to drive him to school. Like Phil, I seemed to get caught in a storm I could not have predicted, except, I call it the "teenage storm" and in the midst of it, I seemed to have gotten stuck in a time warp of my own. I have lived day after day during high school trying to "get it right" and I have finally learnt that my attitude towards my son and others around me really is crucially important! Just like Phil, I ended up re-examining my life and my priorities several times.

High school, like the movie Groundhog Day, can be a good-natured comedy with lots of laughs, but it certainly also produces some honest and profound sentiments. The teen years are not over yet and neither of us has passed all the tests that were presented to us 100%, but we have both grown up.

Soon the clock will turn over one more time as it did in the movie and both him and I will go "free", we will move on. Hopefully remembering all we have learnt. Not only the Math and the Science, but also the way we ought to relate to and support each other. 

Soon he is leaving high school for the last time and I wish him and every other child that is leaving with him that their path will be full of hope and mystery and that they will conquer their future victoriously! I am proud, as always, to be his mom!

P.s. Two months from now, it will be his sister's first day at high school and this time I will know what to expect, thanks to him and other moms who have encouraged me. It will now be my honor to encourage other "first time" moms! 


Wednesday, 6 September 2017

I just want to BE OK!

Hi Diary,

I am indeed a non-perfect mom and I know that I have limitations and shortcomings and because of it, I often crave to know that I will be ok. I want to know that somewhere in the hopefully near future I will reach my very own "Promised Land".

If anyone has read any of my earlier blog posts then they know that I "burnt out" about seven years ago. Since then I have traveled a long way on the road to recovery and perhaps they are walking this road with me. If they do, I want to encourage them today with a little song titled "Be OK"! It was originally performed by Ingrid Michaelson but beautifully covered by Rachel & the Kooka Cats on YouTube and it can be viewed here:

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
Oh how I can relate to this song!! I wonder if anyone else can? (I would love some comments below.)

The first time I listened to this song, I hadn't felt "ok" in years and even though I feel much better now, I still love this song! It's very comforting to know other people share my need to "just be ok".

I love the way she starts making breakfast, thinking that she is alone, blinded to the presence of other people in her kitchen. She wishes to be ok. But she knows that she is a "gallery of broken hearts" and she wants her broken parts back.

So did I! Yes indeed, so did I! As a mother of young children I often felt that I was completely ALONE in my home, especially in the middle of the night with a sleepless child. So often I wished to be ok, but I wasn't and it took me several years to discover that part of the reason why I wasn't ok, was that I too was a gallery of broken hearts and that I needed someone to help me mend them. I have found someone when I finally allowed myself to have "quiet times" and his name is Jesus. Every time I ask Jesus to give me a broken part back, he gives it to me and helps me mend it. Over the past few years, it has been and still is the most amazing journey and I just hope that if anyone else needs help, they will find it also! For me, it all began with a little quiet time and slowly but surely I became more "ok"...

Occasionally I still have doubts and I get up some mornings still needing to know that I will be ok. But I noticed, that if I pray to God to give me help and top "open my eyes" to the beautiful things around me, something amazing usually happens, just like in this little video. At the end, as she keeps verbalizing her wishes and desires, she suddenly starts noticing all her friends and she realizes that she is actually NOT alone! You can see the sudden change in her physical and mental composure transforming her from depressed to smugly content. I love that! In the end, she seems to have a sudden notion, that not only maybe, she will actually be ok! So cool! I want that and in small ways I am already beginning to have it! 

Yes, it is not easy in today's fast paced world to maintain a well balanced life, but I am determined to get it! And how will I get it? I will keep asking Jesus to "open my eyes" to everything good around me that has always been there, even when I didn't notice it! In 2 Kings 6:8-23 God opened the eyes of Elisha's servant to see an army of angels that has come to their aid and what he did for him, I believe he will do for you and me also! Rachel & the Kooka Cats have illustrated this so beautifully! 

I am encouraged today and I hope others also and the next time I cook myself a breakfast, I will try to remember this song and KNOW that I WILL BE OK!


😃 😃 😃