How to "bug fix" my own mind...

Dear Diary,

This morning, I received a devotional message on my cell phone which said that "We cannot control all that happens to us, but we have absolute control over how we respond to the changes in our lives." Hm. That got me thinking! I like to ponder over stuff like that. I mean "absolute control" is a nice thought, but do I really have absolute control over how I respond to all situations in my life? I am not sure if I agree, because so often in my life, it feels that no matter how hard I try to change and do better, I still often react the very same way. Most of the time, especially in my daily routine as a mom, I react the only way that I know how to and sadly, that often still involves impatience and irritability. Clearly not a good way! I could use the excuse of lacking a good example in my childhood, but it would still be my responsibility to change and try and do better. But how can I change?

Just wanting to change doesn't seem to be doing the trick and so I wrestled with this idea this morning when I was listening to a teaching by Joyce Meyer. I was quite relieved to hear her say that we can't really change ourselves since I certainly haven't been very successful in doing so. Joyce explained, and I have heard this before but perhaps I just needed to hear it again, that it is God who can and will change us if we ask him to. More food for thought. Hm. As my mind kept circling around the question of change, I was wondering why HE would be able to change us if I can't even change myself?? I really have a lot of questions sometimes and occasionally, especially when I take the time to ponder over these things, I also get an answer. Sometimes the answer is somewhat of an analogy and that's exactly what popped into my mind this morning. A thought that made sense to me and hopefully will make sense to you also.

My apologies that the photo is not very sharp!

As I was having what I like to call a prayerful conversation with God, I was also trying to update my iPad. (Multitasking is a habit that is hard to shake for a mom. Eish!) You probably know, but let me mention it anyway, that all apps on any phone or tablet need to be updated every now and then. I, for example, get notified by the AppStore that there is an update available but it's up to me if and when I download it. Updates are voluntary but if we don't do them, chances are that the app will stop working some day. Every device downloads and updates at the push of a button, using a wireless and invisible connection to the producers or creators of the phone, in my case Apple Inc. Sometimes it takes a few minutes but sometimes it's a matter of seconds. I don't have to do anything else than requesting the update and Apple Inc. does the rest. I think you might see where I am going with this, but before I explain, let's look at a few more things. There are many apps on my phone and probably also on yours. Some are necessary for my phone to work and others are there just because I like them. MOLDIV, for example, is a functional photo editing app, while Duolingo teaches me Italian and Wordscapes is a game just for fun. You might have totally different apps and the required updates are therefore totally individual to each phone. Sometimes new tools and functionality gets added to the phone during an update, but sometimes they just remove so called "bugs" or faults. Either way, updates are very necessary to the good functioning of my phone. Do you see where I am going with this now?

Many people easily get stuck in set behaviour patterns and it is often said, especially of older people, that they just can't change anymore. But I don't think that's true! I think, we have just been trying wrong all along. Most of us, including me, are probably trying to change ourselves, when in fact, if we really want to change, we need God! God is our Creator and "programmer" if you like and so, just like my iPad is a free standing extension of Apple Inc., I am a freestanding extension of God. I am created by Him in His image (or how He imagined I should look like) and it would therefore stand to reason that I cannot change myself. But just like my iPad I have flaws! And because of my ever occurring flaws I need regular "updates" and those updates, well, they come from God. He knows what I need before I even know it and if I take the time to sit down and pray, He is more than willing to download improvements on me. Simply put, when I connect with God, HE updates or changes me and when I sleep, He charges me! Kind of true, isn't it?

Our brains can easily get overloaded these days. Being a mom certainly depletes me during the day and by the evening I am really grateful when I can go and lay down and do some much needed recharging during the night. New generation phones don't actually even need a cable to charge anymore, all they need is a little pad that you lay them on, just like I need my mattress. 😉 The world is full of high performance societies where stress and anxiety is constantly on the increase and every year it seems like we have so many more things to worry about. We not only take care of our daily chores and workload and raise our kids, we have to do so much more! We deal with multiple cultures and new technology around us each day, some of which we sometimes struggle to understand. On top of that, there is an ever increasing demand to be part of social media which, at the moment, also bombards us with fears of global viral threats! It never stops and sometimes I get so overloaded that I can't find my "patience" or "self-control" app anymore. I need help! But thanks to my iPad I now understand that I need God to help me change. Even during a short quiet time, God can update any "apps" or attitudes in my mind that need updating the most and when I walk away from my little restful moment, I do cope better with the situation at hand. I might sound like I am making this up but it really works!

When I take a little moment with God and pray or tell him what is bothering me, it's kind of like pressing the "update button". By praying, I give God a chance to connect with me, wirelessly and invisibly, and He in turn starts giving me new ideas or removes my "bugs" or fears. I have tried to remove fears myself, but it really doesn't work, but when I ask Him, well, so far it has always worked! Just like the updates on my iPad, sometimes it takes just a few minutes to align myself with God and sometimes it takes a little longer. I am totally dependant on my invisible connection with Him, but I have come to learn that it's a dependency that really benefits me! Oh, and by the way, I have also noticed that when I pray or connect with God, I can't really ask Him to update my husband, I can only ask Him to update me. I can maybe tell Him what bothers me about my connection with my husband, but the download I get, will be for me! He will have to request his own update. 😂

There are so many ways to explain why we benefit from quiet times with God, but I hope that this one is just another one that makes sense to you like it did to me. I never realised how much I needed God until my head was so overloaded with challenges and problems that only a good "update" could set me back on my feet. Doing my daily work and trying to lead a good marriage while still being a good mother is hard work! Every mom will know that I am right and that if we try to do it out of our own strength, we can easily burn out. I am a lot of things to a lot of people and sometimes, I just need a bit of time to myself! I need refreshing by having a little rest and establishing my invisible connection with God.

I must admit that it can be a challenge to find time alone as a mom, but I believe it's a quest worth pursuing and it is not selfish at all, mom! We deserve rest! It took me many years to figure that out but I finally get it and I hope you know it too! We like to be in control of our lives, but we rarely really are. Over the last few years I have learnt though, that He is in control and that's another reason why quiet times are so important to me now. It just makes plain sense to stay in touch with the only One who is able to "fix" the wrongs in my life. Thanks to my iPad, I finally understand now that I really can't change myself, but I do change when I spend time connecting with God. Of course, just like the AppStore, God is always available to us. So, whatever time of day we can steal a moment alone...we should take it and connect with God! Because it will be worth it! Just a few minutes of bible reading or having a personal conversation with God never fails to bring peace to a mind and soul!

I wish you HAPPY UPDATING this week! 😇

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. 

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." 

Philippians 4:6 (NLT) 

(Photos are my own or courtesy of morguefile.com)