Wednesday 30 January 2013

From the chronicles of motherhood...

Oh what a beautiful end to a movie! Have you seen The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader mom? If not, a must see for everyone young at heart! To tell you the plot of the movie would take too long, but I want to share some of the end with you. I know, normally you don’t want people to tell you the end of a movie. But please make an exception for me today. There is a moment in that end, that is too beautiful not to be shared with moms.

Almost at the end of the movie, a group of children consisting of Eustace, Lucy, Edmund and Caspian and a mouse by the name of Reepicheep arrive at a mysterious shore before a massive wave. Aslan appears and tells them that his country lies beyond, but if they go there they may never return. (Jesus…heaven…you get it.) They are all given the choice to cross the wave, but the children opt to go home for now. Prince Caspian, having had his father tragically taken from him at an early age, considers the offer for a moment. He stands there with one hand in the wave representing the curtain between the two lands, pondering if he would find his father there. Clearly this would be a more beautiful land. After a brief moment of hesitation he turns around and says: "I can't imagine my father would be very proud that I gave up what he died for. I spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what was given. I was given a kingdom. People." And then he vows: "I promise to be a better king." Aslan responds with "You already are." He was King of Narnia now and he knew, he needed to stay and look after his people.

Hmmm. Sounds soooo familiar! I realize that I had one foot across in “Aslan’s land” during my cancer journey 3 years ago and I often pondered if I would find my family there. Especially my much loved grandfather. Clearly heaven would have been a better place. But I opted to fight and with God’s help, I stayed. The time to cross had not yet come. There is work to be done and for me too it is time to vow: I spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what was given. I was given a kingdom. Two beautiful children. I promise to be a better mom. In my heart I hope that I already am. God has given me two beautiful children who are growing up to be warriors soon and He has asked me to look after them for now.

As a mom, there are many more scenes and people in that movie I can relate to. For example Eustace, a true complainer and grumbler at first, having succumbed to the temptation of greed and self-indulgence, was transformed into a dragon for a period of time. When Aslan brought him back to his rightful shape as a boy he admitted that he had fallen short in his relationship with his cousins. He felt that he might have been a better dragon than a boy. Much like him, I fear that I too have fallen short as a mom and at times have been somewhat of a dragon. If God hadn’t come towards me, I might have never made the transformation back from dragon to mom. But most of all I feel with Prince Caspian. 

Perhaps it is not a cancer journey you survived, perhaps it is something else. But I am sure we can all say that we need to vow, as Prince Caspian did, to look after what we've been given and try to be better moms. I trust you will have a good day in your Kingdom today! And if you are stressed out and there seems to be no "Aslan" in your life, allow me to tell you...He's there and He loves you!

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com

Monday 21 January 2013

Day 1 @ High School from a mom's point of view...

I never thought it was going be easy. It was bound to happen. Inevitable, one could say. But I didn’t think it would be this hard and I didn’t think it would be this soon. 

When I signed my son up at primary school, I knew the day would come when he would leave and move on. "Before you know it he'll be going to high school," some moms would say. "The years in primary school will seem to fly by," others added, and always ended the sentence with, "So enjoy it while he is here." I did enjoy his years in primary school and I can't say I didn't see the end of it coming.

What I did not see coming was how I would suddenly seem to be disconnected from him and the secret feelings of terror this would cause in my heart. You don’t understand? Perhaps this will help. 

(Photo is my own)
The day before he started high school I watched an American spy film called Body of Lies - a political thriller starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Russel Crowe. Set in the Middle East, it follows the attempts of a CIA agent to catch a terrorist, yet the agent is not alone. He is assisted by technological, counter-intelligence methods such as surveillance drones. From the comfort of the control center the CIA “head-honcho” watches the action, occasionally using satellite technology to transmit orders to the agent in the field. 
Secure in what they see and know, they watch his every move and assist. But at some point during the operation something goes wrong. Satellite transmission breaks up and they lose control. The screen goes blank and they cannot see or hear what is happening on the ground. Anxious moments follow until transmission resumes and they can carry on doing what they do best. Remote assistance at its finest. That is what I felt like today! 

Amid our "daily operations” of life, I seemed to lose control. My son, suddenly on unknown territory, was alone out there and I was unable to assist. Not even cellphones were allowed. This was terrain where I had not set up surveillance yet and moments of intense discomfort followed.

What do I do? I remember what other moms said: ”Relax! You will soon get the hang of it here.” So, at the moment my screen is still “flickering” but I now know transmission will resume shortly. One day he won't need my surveillance and it will be time to “zoom out” on the target. But until then I am sure glad to be his mom!

And if your son or daughter starts high school this week...I wish you a great year!


Wednesday 16 January 2013

My New Year's Resolution...

I know it’s a little late and I actually don’t do New Year's Resolutions but I had to give this post a title and this one fitted best. So, here it is: 

I WANT TO BE THE BIGGEST LOSER this year!

That might sound strange to you at first. "Who wants to be a loser?", you might ask. But do you remember the popular TV show "The Biggest Loser"? Where overweight people compete to lose some unnecessary pounds or kilos? It is exactly that show that inspired me to make this resolution, except that I am not over-weight. But I am a mom with a somewhat turbulent childhood and for the past two decades I have been chasing after the losses I incurred. Almost like an addicted gambler who keeps trying to recoup what he has lost at the slot machine. The truth is, these losses affect those around us and in my case they have produced bad habits. 

So this year I want to be the biggest loser of bad habits, bad attitudes and bad thoughts. No more unrealistically high expectations...because all moms shout at their kids now and then. No more underestimating myself...because I can learn self-control when things around me seem to spin out of control. No more jealousy or self-pity...for I have enough reason to know by now that God will give me all that I need. No more negative self-talk…and many more…these are the things I want to lose. What about you? Will you join me? 

(Please scroll down for other encouraging posts!)