Wednesday, 6 September 2017

I just want to BE OK!

Hi Diary,

I am indeed a non-perfect mom and I know that I have limitations and shortcomings and because of it, I often crave to know that I will be ok. I want to know that somewhere in the hopefully near future I will reach my very own "Promised Land".

If anyone has read any of my earlier blog posts then they know that I "burnt out" about seven years ago. Since then I have traveled a long way on the road to recovery and perhaps they are walking this road with me. If they do, I want to encourage them today with a little song titled "Be OK"! It was originally performed by Ingrid Michaelson but beautifully covered by Rachel & the Kooka Cats on YouTube and it can be viewed here:


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Oh how I can relate to this song!! I wonder if anyone else can? (I would love some comments below.)

The first time I listened to this song, I hadn't felt "ok" in years and even though I feel much better now, I still love this song! It's very comforting to know other people share my need to "just be ok".

I love the way she starts making breakfast, thinking that she is alone, blinded to the presence of other people in her kitchen. She wishes to be ok. But she knows that she is a "gallery of broken hearts" and she wants her broken parts back.

So did I! Yes indeed, so did I! As a mother of young children I often felt that I was completely ALONE in my home, especially in the middle of the night with a sleepless child. So often I wished to be ok, but I wasn't and it took me several years to discover that part of the reason why I wasn't ok, was that I too was a gallery of broken hearts and that I needed someone to help me mend them. I have found someone when I finally allowed myself to have "quiet times" and his name is Jesus. Every time I ask Jesus to give me a broken part back, he gives it to me and helps me mend it. Over the past few years, it has been and still is the most amazing journey and I just hope that if anyone else needs help, they will find it also! For me, it all began with a little quiet time and slowly but surely I became more "ok"...

Occasionally I still have doubts and I get up some mornings still needing to know that I will be ok. But I noticed, that if I pray to God to give me help and top "open my eyes" to the beautiful things around me, something amazing usually happens, just like in this little video. At the end, as she keeps verbalizing her wishes and desires, she suddenly starts noticing all her friends and she realizes that she is actually NOT alone! You can see the sudden change in her physical and mental composure transforming her from depressed to smugly content. I love that! In the end, she seems to have a sudden notion, that not only maybe, she will actually be ok! So cool! I want that and in small ways I am already beginning to have it! 

Yes, it is not easy in today's fast paced world to maintain a well balanced life, but I am determined to get it! And how will I get it? I will keep asking Jesus to "open my eyes" to everything good around me that has always been there, even when I didn't notice it! In 2 Kings 6:8-23 God opened the eyes of Elisha's servant to see an army of angels that has come to their aid and what he did for him, I believe he will do for you and me also! Rachel & the Kooka Cats have illustrated this so beautifully! 

I am encouraged today and I hope others also and the next time I cook myself a breakfast, I will try to remember this song and KNOW that I WILL BE OK!

HAVE A HAPPY DAY!

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