How long does it take to turn Te Kâ into Te Fiti?? I'd really love to know!
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| (This picture is my own |
If you have seen the movie "Moana", then I am sure you know what I mean. But if you haven't, well, you really should watch the movie, but I can tell you some of the story and I will have to add some pictures, which I will google, so that you can visualize it a little better. The thing is, I've been kind of a Te Kâ mom in the past and I am hoping to morph back into Te Fiti, just like it happened in this beautiful movie! You know, Disney movies are, in my opinion, for people of all ages and they sometimes carry a strong message, for the children and the parents. Especially this one! Moana is an adventurous young lady, just like I once was, and she is on a daring mission to save her land, by returning a stolen heart, when she sails out into the vast ocean. The bible says that God makes His home "in us" now, so I suppose you could say that our body, is sort of our "land" and if you can stretch your imagination this far, then you might understand when I say that I was on an equally daring mission to save my "land" when I left Switzerland many years ago all by myself. Just like Moana, I was on a mission to save a broken heart, I just didn't know yet back then that the heart that needed saving was mine! But more about that later. The bulk of the movie shows Moana sailing across the open ocean on an action-packed voyage, encountering enormous monsters and impossible odds. Driven by her inner calling, she fulfills her quest and discovers the one thing she always sought: her own personal identity. But that's too quick. It won't do the movie any justice and neither my story if we stop right here.
Let's start a little earlier, sort of at the beginning. The movie doesn't start with her sailing away from her island, just like my story didn't start with me leaving Switzerland. It starts when she is still so young, innocent, brave and courageous, always ready to fight for what is right. She is actually brave and courageous right throughout the movie and I am not sure, if on this, I compare well with her. But I do believe that we all have great innocence and even courage when we are little. I certainly used to be much less fearful than I am now. Fear and heartache have a way of creeping in later in life and perhaps it is good that we don't know that right from the beginning. Perhaps it would have stopped her from taking her journey. But her journey was oh so important and so was mine.
Let's start a little earlier, sort of at the beginning. The movie doesn't start with her sailing away from her island, just like my story didn't start with me leaving Switzerland. It starts when she is still so young, innocent, brave and courageous, always ready to fight for what is right. She is actually brave and courageous right throughout the movie and I am not sure, if on this, I compare well with her. But I do believe that we all have great innocence and even courage when we are little. I certainly used to be much less fearful than I am now. Fear and heartache have a way of creeping in later in life and perhaps it is good that we don't know that right from the beginning. Perhaps it would have stopped her from taking her journey. But her journey was oh so important and so was mine.
During this journey, she meets the once-mighty demigod Maui who she believes is destined to help her and help her he does with some twists and turns in the story - you'll really have to see the movie! Though she often pridefully tries to prove that she could do without him, Maui guides her in her quest and teaches her how to find her way in this vast ocean. What a vast ocean of people we live in today! It is indeed hard to navigate the masses and find our very own true calling! Back in Switzerland, the Holy Spirit might have been mighty "back in the day" when people were less self-sufficient and more "believing", but with the dwindling numbers of churchgoers and all the skepticism that is prevalent now, He has indeed become all but a demigod, just like Maui. But I met him, somewhere out in the ocean I finally met him and it is perhaps fair to say that I had the same kind of love-hate relationship with the Holy Spirit at first, like Moana had with Maui. I have to admit that I was a little stubborn. But just like Maui, the Holy Spirit guided me on my action-packed voyage to South Africa, where I eventually did encounter enormous monsters and impossible odds, especially during my journey through chemotherapy. I am glad to say that I survived that scary journey and I subsequently wrote a blog post and made a video about how I crossed that scary ocean. It's a testimonial story filmed on my very own swimming pool. If you would like to read or watch it, here are the links: Survive your fear - Blog post / Survive your fear! - YouTube video
But on with the story! Moana reaches her destination but doesn't find the expected Te Fiti that she thinks she is destined to meet, but a very angry volcano, named Te Kâ, instead. Moana recognizes (perhaps through the wisdom given to her by Maui) that she must have courage and get past the scary front Te Kâ is putting up and she soon learns that Te Kâ is actually Te Fiti and that the heart must be given back to her. That's what she had to accomplish. She had to replace Te Kâ's stony heart and replace it with the original heart in order for her to morph back into Te Fiti and morph back she does! Perhaps now you are beginning to understand what I meant in the beginning of this blog post, when I said that I would like to morph back into Te Fiti...because this really hit home with me! As a mom, it is really easy for me to relate to Te Kâ, the angry version of Te Fiti, because I have, on my worst days, looked a lot like her. That's hard to admit, but it has sadly been true.
But on with the story! Moana reaches her 
Hearts get stolen. How? Well, in my case, and every case is different of course, multiple divorces by my parents (none of them were peaceful) have left my tender heart completely broken. You could say that my heart was stolen at a very young age, each time my current father left. So, naturally I tried to guard the empty space. I built a wall full of bricks like sarcasm, bitterness, skepticism and even unforgiveness until I was completely walled in. Like Te Kâ. But walls don't rescue us, not that kind of walls, they actually have a way of suffocating us and making us sick. Very much like in the movie Moana where the land was slowly getting poisoned from within, I was slowly accumulating so much anger that it eventually culminated in cancer. Looking back and being completely healed from cancer today, I know that the cause of it all was my broken heart. I was an angry mom with a broken heart like Te Kâ, longing to be restored, but like her, I couldn't have restored myself. I needed a "mini me" to show me what was wrong with me and sometimes by becoming mothers, we discover what is lacking inside of us. At least that was so very true for me! Apparently, Mother Theresa once said that "Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat." I only know too well how true that is, because all the toxicity in my childhood has left me starving for love!
But I am so glad to tell you that God's loving mercy is never too late! He not only stopped the cancer and healed my "land" (or my body) like in the movie "Moana", He also started teaching me to forgive and He made me a promise: "And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT) That was the beginning of my healing journey.
My heart has been returned and balance has been restored to my body, but I suppose my mind is still healing now. I am still in the process of getting to know my "old" self and morphing back from an angry mom to a more patient and loving one. I know I need to be patient with myself and that is hard to do, because for so many years, I have relentlessly driven myself to perfection in the hope that perfection would make me "good enough". It never did. But I have finally learnt that sometimes, just doing my best, is indeed good enough for now. Having accomplished her mission, Moana went back home and became a great leader to her people. So, naturally, I asked myself what is left for me to do now? I believe it is to encourage you with three things that I have learnt while watching this beautiful movie and leave you with three Scriptures that have given me hope:
1. Make sure that no one steals your heart, by staying in touch with the ONE
who protects us and guards our hearts!
2. Be honest and forgiving with yourself, especially if you have moments where
you resemble Te Kâ because trust me, you are not the only one!
3. Read the signs! Irritability, tiredness and a constant feeling of stress all
mean that you need REST! And when you read those signs, be kind to
yourself, allow yourself a little bit of QUIET TIME!
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
Psalm 34:18 (NLT)
"Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7 (NLT)
I hope you liked this blog post and I would love it if you leave me a comment below. Have a great week!
