Wednesday 26 June 2019

Anxiety - what do I do?? (Part 2)

Dear Diary,

Anxiety! It's an emotion that seems to be more and more common these days and I have also had some encounters with it! I believe it's certainly a topic worth talking about. We live, we get hurt and we move on so quickly that we hardly ever have time to properly digest our emotions. So, in some way, it was no real surprise to me that some of my "childhood pains" eventually resurfaced in the form of ANXIETY and it did so in many different ways or places. 

Sometimes I get anxious when I am alone at home and "unplugged" from society for too long, but sometimes I can also get anxious when I am in my local supermarket, surrounded by people. Two completely different scenarios, but both can make me anxious and when they do, I usually struggle for control over my seemingly out-of-control emotions. Anxiety is an awful feeling. Sometimes it's just a feeling of being "uneasy" or fearful in a small way, but at its worst, anxiety can make me feel as if the life, my life is draining out of me! At that point I feel totally paralysed and get nothing done, until I recover from it. This is a very abbreviated way of describing anxiety, but the bottom line is that it's an emotional state I do not like to be in and I wonder how many moms struggle with it.

The question, of course, is - how do we get anxiety under control when it demands attention? What can I tell myself to calm my anxious mind? I believe that Psalm 23 has some answers...

In Psalm 23 verse 1 we read that the Lord is my shepherd and I lack nothing and yet, I tend to worry so much! I worry about things I didn't have in the past, seem to lack now and might not be able to get in the future. Worry seems to be the very foundation of anxiety and yet, it serves no good purpose at all! Worry doesn't change anything and it doesn't improve anything either. So I have started to ask myself the question, "Does it help if I worry?" every time anxiety creeps up on me. I think, most of the time, I worry because I want to handle things myself, I want to be in control, rather than handing control over to God. David, who wrote the Psalm sure seems to be ahead of me there!

I also used to be in a constant hurry all the time, especially when my children were smaller. Verse 2 in Psalm 23 says that he makes me lie down in green pastures, but that certainly didn't work for me in those days! I used to hurry from one play date to another for my kids, from one chore to the next and I certainly never seemed to have time to lie down! Until I finally allowed myself to have quiet times. Life happens so fast and hurried these days and we feel guilty, especially as moms, if we are having a rest. But that is nonsense! Rest ought to be part of every mom's program each day. Even if it is just a 5-minute chat with God or a cup of tea with a friend. I noticed that if I don't get enough rest, I almost always end up worrying and worry so often leads me back to anxiety. 

The same verse also says that he leads me beside quiet waters and for me, "quiet waters" are the opposite of crowds. Some people love crowds, but I don't. I love people. I love to get together with a friend or a small group of people, but crowds, well, they scare me somehow. I did once attend a "One Direction" concert with my daughter and I loved it, but I was rather glad when I could finally leave the stadium and escape the crowd. Crowds can certainly make me anxious, so I try to avoid them as best as I can. 

In verse 3 David writes that he guides me along the right paths and along isn't just onto! God doesn't only help us choose which way to go when we reach a big intersection, no, this verse promises that He helps us along the path. Which means that God is not only willing to help us with the BIG questions in life. No, he is willing to help us with every little decision we make and that even includes decisions in a supermarket when, occasionally, I am overwhelmed by all the many different products on offer. We live in a time of over-affluence! Don't you think so? What used to be oats every morning, can now be a variety of 30+ cereals on offer sometimes I stand in a supermarket aisle and simply can't choose. So, it might seem a little crazy to have a conversation with God in a supermarket, but I really don't mind what people think, because, guess what, it really helps!

I might  also not be considered very "hip" and up to date when I refuse to scroll around on Facebook and Twitter every day, but I just simply can't handle all the bad news I see on social media. To me, scrolling down on Facebook can literally feel like I am walking through a "dark valley" because everyone seems to be sharing their problems and dirty laundry these days! I suppose sharing isn't wrong, but I personally find it super overwhelming on some platforms on social media. So occasionally, actually quite often, I allow myself a "social media break". Verse 4 says that even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Well, I don't have a "rod" or a "staff" that comfort me per se, but I do have a "stylus" and with this little rod I can choose what I tap on or not and sometimes the best choice seems to be not to tap on anything. A social media break can be a wonderful remedy for anxiety! 

There are, of course, many more reasons that can cause anxiety, but the last one I would like to touch on is having a fear of the future. The world often seems to be in turmoil these days and fears relating to our future have become very real. Verse 6 though says that surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and that was true for David and is still true today! God hasn't changed! He is offering his love now and in the future in the same way that He did in the past and I find that very comforting! Sometimes, I really do need to take a moment and try to remind myself of that. 

So, my conclusion for today is, that, like David, most of the time, I really just need to look to God to meet all my needs. It might seem difficult at first, but it really pays off when I obey His instructions. He might ask me to rest more readily and go to bed earlier or He might nudge me to go outside and take a little walk in His beautiful creation because He knows that nature has the power to recharge us. I now ask Him for guidance whenever I struggle with a decision no matter how big or small. But I also need to remember to trust Him, because He promised that He would finish what He started! Above all, He also promised that he will never leave us or forsake us and if you ask me, He is indeed the number one antidote to any sort of fear or anxiety!

But over to you - how are you dealing with anxiety?

Please do write me a comment below and if you have time - tune in on Wednesday 03rd July at 10h30 on this link - Radio Kingfisher FM - when Lize and I will keep discussing the topic of anxiety.




I wish you all a stress and anxiety free week! 


(Photo is my own.)

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