Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Trying to be a good mom is like "trying to fall pregnant"...

For some of us it seems easy, for others almost impossible. I am currently the mom of a teenager and I often ask myself - what is a good parent? One who provides abundantly? Or one who loves abundantly? Or might it possibly be both? I do provide the best I can, I suppose my husband is doing most of the providing since he is the income earner in the family. But I provide my time and my love as best as I can. But trying to show my love to my teenager sometimes seems equally difficult as trying to fall pregnant at the wrong time of the month! Joyce Meyer, my favorite bible teacher and bestselling author, has recently preached about the "lovewalk" of Christians and I have been pondering over mine ever since. I am still pondering, so today you get the ramblings of my busy mind.

Joyce Meyer was talking about her past and much like her, in my past, every word of praise and commendation I received, has gone toward filling that empty place inside of me. I measured myself by what others thought of me and I spent far too much time in my life trying to gain approval from other people. People who themselves had more than enough problems that they were running from also. Back then, I never quite understood where true love and approval come from, I never realized that I had a heavenly Father I could take refuge in, a father who unlike mine would never reject me. I was rejected by my earthly father and then emotionally neglected by my mother. Outward behavior of a fairly obsessive nature such as my cleaning addiction and perfectionism were the result of it and have merely anesthetized the pain a bit. They have given me little comfort and no quality of life at all. As a matter of fact it steals my breath, thinking of all I have given away, all the time I have wasted and how I have devalued the people in my life by the way I treated them. But today I know that love is...forgiving your husband when you really think he is in the wrong. Love is...doing Grade 3 homework with your child when you would rather be doing something else. Love is...trying really hard to bite your tongue when your anger levels are sky high and you really want to shout at your children. Love is...to be nothing really special for years, when you know something special is hidden inside of you.

Love is...so many other things. But where do we find this kind of love when we are so frantically busy we don’t seem to ever be able to “fill up”? The same way we were trying to fall pregnant in the first place...PRAY and RELAX mom! Do not stress. Relax and make God your intimate close friend. So that out of your friendship with him you will change. Whatever you do…don’t try to change yourself. It won't work, unless He walks by your side. Keep your faith daily, that God is working on your problems and don’t let bitterness and offense lead to strife. The bottom line is, you couldn't fall pregnant without God's help and you can't be a good mom without Him either.

Practice your lovewalk is what Joyce Meyer said. But for me, I had to change that a little. You see, the word "lovewalk" almost seemed like a standard to me. And every time I shouted at my children I felt like I had failed. It became an impossible standard to live up to and almost every day I kept failing and piling up feelings of guilt. But then...in a quiet time...I felt God gently nudging me and saying it's not a "lovewalk" it's "love...and...walk"! So, you see? It's not a standard mom! Not something you have to perform! All you have to do is, you love and you walk. You love your children one moment today and one moment tomorrow and in-between you keep on walking. Get it? I did finally get it! All I have to do today to be a good mom is to keep loving them, when I can and as best as I can and keep walking with God and let Him be my friend. That is my love walk. I am going to practice mine today. Wishing you HAPPY loving and walking today mom!!!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici 
 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net




6 comments:

  1. Something that always helped me on my imperfect journey through motherhood is the idea that God foreknew that I would be the kind of mother (warts and all) that my children would need, and they would be the right kids for me - it all looks different when you realize, as you have expressed, that ultimately it's about developing Christian character.

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    1. I think that is exactly what I still lose track of...thank you for reminding me Linda! I tend to forget that God already knew. I am still discovering every day what a wonderful Father he really is!

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  2. I agree with Linda's comment. I'd like to add, from the advantage of looking back, that mistakes and all, when you're sincerely trying your best with God's help, they turn out okay! Today I have three lovely mature adult "kids", who are all super parents--in spite of my mistakes!

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement Shirley! There is nothing better than to hear there is hope. When you are busy "breaking the soil" and your hands are sore from all the work in the field, it is somewhat difficult to picture the harvest. We "moms-at-work" need people like you to encourage us and assure us that the harvest will come! ;)

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  3. Thanks for sharing :)

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    1. Only a pleasure! I hope you will visit again soon. :)

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